So
you say you want your life to be different, better, more
fulfilling?
Who
doesn’t?
How
many times have you heard yourself say:
- “I
wish I had more time for myself?’
- “This
stress is killing me.”
- “I
have to start to exercise and get in better
shape.”
- “I
feel like my kids are getting the short end of the stick.”
- “My
husband/boyfriend says that my
side of the bed looks more like a command center than a place
to relax.”
- “I
feel like I’m
moving at warp speed and
I still can’t get through
my “to
do” list.”
- “I
want my life to be more
fun. I need to be more playful.”
Sound
familiar?
But as a career woman who is balancing work and family, a single mom who is trying to fill in all the gaps or a woman who’s simply tired of feeling like she’s living a “treadmill existence” you have a choice—you
can reduce your stress, regain your sanity and create a life
you love. However this means slowing down to reevaluate your values and priorities and making considered choices about how you’re going to invest your time and energy.
The
French philosopher Rene Descartes said, “I think therefore
I am.” Our modern day version of this has become “I
do therefore I am.” So many of us live by the mantra “I
have to keep up,” “I am what I do,” “I
have to push myself,” “I have to prove my worth,” “I
have to keep going.” While many of you thought that
you left peer pressure back in the halls of high school I
have a surprise for you... It’s
still very much in operation in our adult lives.
Most
of us have one clear priority—get through the day.
Sure,
no one’s going to deny the importance of that, but
it’s simply not enough. Most of us sleep walk thought
our lives. We rarely stop long enough to consider how we
spend our time and energy. Yet, without determining whether
your priorities match your picture of yourself and your values
you will continually be out of synch with yourself.
No matter how frantic life gets, no matter how much frenzy seems to be present, the truly
successful people are able to rise above the pandemonium
and maintain their perspective. They can do this because they know what’s important. Their values are their compass--they keep them on course regardless of the chaos and confusion of life. These people maintain
a vision of what truly matters, what their life is about and what they want it to be.
Think of a typical day and a typical week. As you reflect on an average day, make a list of how you spend your time. Ask yourself how much time do you devote to career, family, health, yourself, spiritual life, home, social life, finances, friendships, etc? Make a list in order of what gets the most to the least amount of your time. How you spend your time will make known your priorities.
Now ask yourself
the question, what matters? What have you found yourself saying to the world over and over throughout your life? Now please write in order of importance what you value, what you consider most important in your life. Is it your family, your children, your health, your religious or spiritual practices. Your friendships your social life?
Now compare your lists.
If
you’re like most people, you may be surprised to discover
that there’s
a discrepancy between what you consider most important in your
life and how you spend your time.
As
you read over your list how do you feel? What did you learn
about yourself? Where you surprised by anything? Now ask yourself,
how are these values reflected in your current life? Which
values are you neglecting? In what ways would your life be
different if you honored these values? Are there any adjustments
I need to make so that my life more closely reflects my values?
If your outer life doesn’t match what you cherish it’s
great that you now know that. Awareness is the first step in
making changes in your life.
Now
that you have a clearer picture of what you consider important,
there’s a good probability that you’ll begin to
think about what you need to change in order to have your values
expressed more visibly in your everyday life.
Is
there anything you need to add to your life? Are there activities
or commitments you need to eliminate? These kinds of questions
will not only help you to understand yourself on a deeper level,
but ultimately to refocus your life around what’s truly meaningful.
As strange as this may seem, it’s actually less important
to understand the meaning of life itself than it is to understand
the meaning of your life.
